I have quit quite a number of things in my life: judo, in grade one, when my pant’s elastic failed in front of a large crowd; ceramics, in first year uni, when my only ability with clay was to smoosh it down into a pancake and draw on it like paper; first year uni, when I realised my only ability in “youth studies” was to study the bottom of the cheap pots of beer readily at my disposal. But this blog post is not about any of this. This post is about when I quit my famed job at Australia Post.
It was rather funny timing really, being asked to be on a promotional video to encourage more women to work in a transport role, days before I was planning to hand in my resignation letter. I couldn’t really say no to the request, plus I was sort of curious to see how it all played out- I do love these odd opportunities that seem to find me! As the interview progressed, however, I found it tough to find the appropriate levels of enthusiasm in the answers that I gave. I definitely did not find myself gushing about the joys of parcel collection and transfer-and I am known to gush about the most seemingly mundane things! But, as I sat there scanning for truthful ways to answer why it was that I loved my job, I was definitely solidified in my choice to leave it. After writing about the Big Red Tree 5 months earlier and finding inspiration for newness and excitement in life again, I had slumped back into routine, making excuses as to why it was okay that I was still in that role, but deep down knowing that I wanted something different/more. It’s amazing how long we can continue in a state of “I’m okay” when the potential for “oh my gosh I’m so great!!” is just a couple of steps away, potentially. Change is daunting and financial security is a selfish, needy partner that we can’t really remember ever being in love with. No, I get it. Money is important, especially when there are other people relying on us…but if the job we are doing is zapping alllll sense of “Me” from the equation and there is no space left for any creativity or joy then really, what’s the point? Are we alive to be just a cog in the machine? Or can we be a cog but also have a chance to step back and assess the machine/see beyond it/see the stars from time to time. I had lost sense of the stars.
So, I quit!
It was amazing. Australia Post were a fantastic organisation to work for but it really wasn’t where I knew I wanted to be. I am a People person not a Sitting Alone in a Van person. I found ways to make it fun from time to time, but that inner voice asking me where I’d disappeared to couldn’t be ignored any longer! So, I took more tentative steps with my drumming business (and will write a blog about that unique adventure at some point soon) and am very excited for the future outside of the red van and high vis. I see the post vans on the street now and feel a bit nostalgic, giving the post boxes a loving caress as I walk passed them, wondering what curious smells are hiding inside; plus I miss the lovely people I worked with, but I have the strongest sense of relief to be on the other side of my resignation! I missed using the left hemisphere of my brain.
I am now waiting to see if my application to study Occupational Therapy this year will be accepted. It’s rather scary and exciting, having my future somewhat in the hands of the dream makers/breakers that are VTAC. Bizarre. Life really is/can be great. Even if not travelling the world, like I so truly madly love, I am still travelling through time; making decisions that empower future Me and that is exciting. Then from this, hopefully, being more qualified to help other people in transitions in their own journeys.
Last year was a tough year, but it gave me a real insight into how it is for people that do suffer from depression and who go through life feeling lost/empty or just feeling nothing at all. Life can be so tough, I’m grateful that I am surrounded by people who know me and support me. Family and community really, truly are everything.