Looking back…

A little over a year ago my dear, sparkling, much adored grandmother (or Mama as we lovingly called her) passed away. I wrote some words in my journal back then, when I had first heard the news. In truth, writing words down doesn’t really help the pain of the goodbye, but it can help try to capture in some way a mere slice of the vast joy that was the “hello”. Seeing as it was her birthday recently I thought I would post a little blog for her and include some of my journal writing from last year.

One of my favourite photos of Mama and me from Christmas a few years back- such joy!

One of my favourite photos of Mama and me from Christmas a few years back- such joy!

When someone transforms from a person who Is to a person who Was, so much changes. Suddenly your experience of them becomes that of an observer, looking upon their masterpiece of life- as opposed to seeing them as a person with needs. All the weight of responsibility fades and all that is left is the story of who they were for you in your life and the lives of those around you; their lasting legacy. One of Aileen Patricia Moriarty’s lasting legacies was definitely her deep and abiding love for her family and friends.

Mama taught me so much about this precious gift that we as humans have- to love each other greatly, in spite of all the pain and suffering that could (and too often can) easily make us bitter along the way. We are all on this bizarre journey through life together after all.

Mama with my darling older sister.

So many times throughout my travels I have had moments when I am struck strongly out of nowhere by a memory of Mama, or the feeling that I used to have when I was in her presence. It’s a happy, warm feeling where I get to aknowledge again this beautiful person I had the almighty privilege of learning from and loving to pieces. I know that these feelings and memories will be with me throughout the rest of my life and through these, she is with me. She truely did make me feel so special- because she made me know that I was truely loved. I know this was the case too for so many that she crossed paths with in her 91 years!

I am travelling on my own, however the memories I carry with me of all those that I love and have loved make me feel like I’m never truely alone.

Mama, In the space of a moment, you transformed from You Are to You Were.

The You Were is something astounding. You were Love, Kindness, Fierce Loyalty, Unconditionality and Joy- just so much joy!! What a marvellous lady.

Aileen Moriarty, Mother, Mama- Thank you. Thank you for all the love, laughs and that cute little dance you would do around the family room. This can’t be goodbye, just, until we meet again! I was, am, and ever will be so, so very happy and proud that I got to be one of your grandchildren!

No more a bird in a cage, trapped by old age

Spread your wings and fly free.

Find your joy in the afterlife

Hold that man who made you his wife!


A tidal wave of love to set you on your way…

set sail, set sail, set sail.


5 thoughts on “Looking back…

  1. This is perfect. You made my day (you often do). I’d like to ‘reblog’ it,if that’s OK. It might help me out of my writing rut.

    Can’t you just see Ma Ma bustling about Heaven with a celestial printout of this post (after enlisting a patient angel to help with the celestial printer), grabbing Jane Austen by the elbow and saying “look how talented my granddaughter is!”?

  2. This was a beautiful testimony to the amazing person your grandmother was and is now in Heaven. It helps me, too, to imagine what my deceased loved ones are doing up there! I like to introduce them to each other as well…perhaps your Mama wouldn’t mind having my Josephine on her lap for “a few minutes?” I bet she was great with babies.

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